There may be trouble ahead. I can see it looming on the horizon. My eldest is 12 going on 15 and I fear that my efforts to keep her 12 are going to be about as successful as Canute’s battles with the waves.

I have been very lucky so far. None of my children have subjected me to temper tantrums. Apart from the occasional throwing of objects by child number 2 there has been very little by way of displays of anger. I never had to deal with toddler lying on the floor in the supermarket screaming or refusing to cooperate in a shoe shop. However, that was all before I had to deal with hormones.

Hormones are relatively new in our house. Of course, everyone is subjected to my monthly rants. I make no apology for it. If you live with a woman you have to deal with the whole package and that includes ridiculous and irrational behavior once every 28 days. Bit like a werewolf in fact. However, it is becoming apparent that it is not just me who is having difficulties controlling their hormones. Today was a good case in point.

Eldest child is not allowed to wear make up whilst out of the house. At home she can experiment and try out different looks but when she goes out she has to look like she is 12. I do not think this in unreasonable but clearly I am wrong. The mascara that she wore yesterday in flagrant breach of the rules ended up smudging and giving her a completely different look and not one that I am prepared to accept. When I mentioned this she told me that she is 14 next year ( she is just 12 – nice try!) and everyone wore far more make up than her and I was being ridiculous. She then flounced off and refused to come swimming with us. She did come of course and was fine by the time we arrived. However, it is clear that I am going to have to practice my counting to ten technique and come up with some more reasoned arguments than ” because I say so.” Given that I have three daughters I fear we may be in for a rocky ride.